£150 jackpot begging to be won

We’ve been busy but there’s more to come. As me old mucker Karen used to warble “we’ve only just begun…”

After an excellent end to August with our first Ha Ha Hassocks comedy foray, September brought us a none too tricky trivia quiz (I’m sure I can rectify that oversight), Frances unsuccessful tilt at Wine Wars stardom; Cornish Waves to be surfed [sic]; the return of Popular Paul and his Pop Quiz Experience; a fine DOGs golf outing to Gatton Manor – won again by the Horsham based cowboy – some awesomely good  gluten free cakes supplied for the opening of the new school wing at Windmills; a first half marathon with excellent time over some large hills by our Kazza and at the start of October a near miss for Italy going close to toppling Chile at the top of the leader board in this years Wine Wars – probably the excellent meatballs that took them so close.

So to the rest of October and into November. Well as I type this outside is wet and miserable and perhaps a sign that Autumn is really settling in…so get out of that funk and hit tonight’s New Trivia quiz… now with added PIES – doors from 7.30pm , quiz starts at  8. But more than the draw of pies – which are very good – there are also HaHa Hassocks tickets to be won, and the small matter of a jackpot round once again past the realms of  small change.

Talking of the Hassocks comedy we’re moving it to the new venue of The Function Rooms at the Hassocks Hotel, which means the capacity is more limited and the tickets more scarce.  There are still some left at the moment but don’t be too surprised when you make a last minute decision to just rock up and are left disappointed and outside. we are talking quality circuit comedians here for both the 16th October and the 20th November gigs. The Hassocks Comedy pages on facebook have fuller information on the events, and the comedians

On Friday 30 October Paul returns for another tilt at immortality with a spooky creepy scarily good Pop Quiz – and if you’ve a mind to you can now follow his inane ramblings on twitter as well .

Marcus has chosen Sunday 8 November for the season finale in the golf “Dread at the Head” in Seaford – if you want in email societydogs@gmail.com or check out the DOGSoc pages at golfshake.com

France come close…

…but Chile still rule the roost in the latest edition of Hassocks Wine Wars 2015.

With something to prove from last years drubbing our man in the know Giles ” terroir” Cutlack brought both map of France his best most lively vino’s from around the regions to the Carrot for a proper going over by 21 eager tasters. Late into the night heavy discussion raged and decision making was taken, agonies were wrung until finally the food was served…and everyone could enjoy the red’s that little bit more. Where did all that cheese go?

Best wine of the night was a cheeky little number from Limoux by Calmel & Joseph, which tried to take out our bubbly sommelier , the cork prematurely fizzing past his nose on the first glass of the evening – all the wines and our tasters ratings, plus up-coming events are listed on the Wine Wars pages of the Purple Carrot, or possibly on facebook too.

Next up is Friday 2 October, and i think we’re going for an Italian evening but already there are only limited places available so don’t delay, book yours today, or leave it until November when we have two!! (12th and 26th – both on a Thursday)

The best laid plans…

…I suppose plans are just plans, until they happen.

So even though I planned cover for the next few days over 6 months ago, this cover is now no longer there and unfortunately I have to leave the Carrot CLOSED from Thursday 10 September until Tuesday 15 September, apart from Saturday when the lovely Sorrel and Iona will open from 10am to 2pm to sort out all your breakfasty brunch needs – The Shakshuka is an excellent batch, Fritatta’s are Chard-full and the glorious coffee is, as always, served just the way you like it. So do pop in and make their day :)

Up-coming events to note include:

Thursday 17 Sept – 7.45pm, round 4 of 2015 wine wars featuring France. After under-performing last year, and getting thrashed by Australia, they will be hoping for a considerable improvement this time out.  – There are only a couple of spaces left so let me know asap, or book up in person with the girls on Saturday.

Friday 18 Sept – 7.30pm for 8pm start – Popular Paul’s Pop Quiz.  With the return to action of Popular Paul it’s sure to be a humdinger of an evening. If you’re looking for food as well we’ll have chicken fajitas or a curry smorg to tickle the taste-buds. Again it’s best to let us know if you are coming so we can cater for you properly, oh and the jackpot round is now hovering around the £150 mark, if that’s what floats your boat – Sian this means YOU

Friday 25 Sept – 7pm for 7.30 start Hassocks Hash, but with added treasure hunt – We’ll offer both a run event and a walking challenge to navigate your way around Hassocks. So get the family off the sofa and enter the latest part of our NOTHING EVER HAPPENS IN HASSOCKS season of fortunate events, and finish up with food and drink back at the purple carrot – COMPLETO DOGS, spicy bean burger tascas or a big bowl of pasta will be on offer as well as prizes and congratulations.

Friday 16 Oct – HaHa Hassocks @ The Hassocks, in Hassocks –  On the subject of Nothing ever happens in Hassocks, I’m sure that many of you will be aware that our first comedy night in the August Bank Holiday was a resounding success, due to the help and cooperation of many people in the village, and the performers enjoyed it as much as the audience so that’s well worth having another go.  Friday 16 October and Friday 20 November are the next two dates and  a gaggle of stellar  comedians will once again make the trek from Brighton to Hassocks and visa-versa, with the most fabulous Stephen Grant again comparing with wit, insight and no small amount of bonhomie .  The venue switches to the function rooms of the Hassocks hotel and such is the interest that we have pre-orders for more than half the tickets already. Tickets will be available from Wednesday 16 Sept – both at the Purple Carrot and online – check out Hassocks Comedy pages on facebook for further details.

I’m off to get beaten up by some 5 foot waves and jump off some crazy high rocks, while pretending I’m still a teenager….until next week

…and so, as the Purple CARROT (and it’s proprietor) lumber slowly back into life, smoothly changing through the gears to reach full throttle by Friday evening – The HASSOCKS HASH is of course being run (7.30pm) being the fourth Friday of the month, do give it a go if you are around – our thoughts also turn to this bank holiday weekend and the fast approaching COMEDY EVENING – HA HA Hassocks – being held at the Adastra Hall – SUNDAY evening from 7pm,(not heard about it? where have you been? Not going? why not? three headline comedy acts, plus really really local comedic genius Steven Grant, a bar, and food from the mecurial hand of Matteo (meze platters or sizzling sausage).
We ask the question “Is it true? Does nothing ever happen in Hassocks?
A multitude of social media opinions opine on what the good citizens of Hassocks should be enjoying in their immediacy – this service / that type of shop / more school places, doctors, traffic calming, facilities across the spectrum / restaurants, banks, more hairdressers, less coffee shops the list is endless the consensus split, but I think that if we can’t fill a village hall on a bank holiday weekend in summer with little else going on in the area, with the type of event that many have asked, nay dreamed jealously of staging as our near neighbours Ditchling and Hurstpierpoint fill out their evenings wallowing in our hard earned Hassocks cash, well then we should just shut up and go back to the good old days of nowt happening round ‘ere

…There will be a few tickets left for sale on the door (£16 on the night) in case you have a last minute change of plan. Doors open 7pm, first comedian 8pm…hope to see you therethere

Summer comes but once a year


until 26th August

Make the most of this week with tonight’s Trivia QUIZ (now with added pie),
luncheon treats Tuesday-Saturday inclusive
Wine Wars – Thursday – Chilean wine and platters

Get tickets for the HA HA Hassocks event (30 August) – or while we’re closed from Vanilla (Hurstpierpoint); Marchants Estate Agents or Keymer & Hassocks Sports & Social Club

Next up …Golf – Sunday 19/7/15



Hassocks Open PAirs event.  So for July it’s another sporting event to have a go at.  You don’t need to be good, but knowing which end of the club is which would help some. Cost is £60 for a pair for which you get food and golf and prizes and probably more food and I’m sure there will be some drink in there too. Food from 11am.. Plus get back and watch the denouement of the Open from St Andrews in the Hassocks club house with very large screens

This is the 5th annual running of the event and it’s time to try and dethrone the tenacious paring of Seaford Page and Farnham Rd Foreshaw. You don’t have to provide a pair – we can team you up with a suitable partner so If you are interested email societydogs@gmail.com, or pop into the purple carrot to sign up

fAT bOYS iNVITATIONAL TOURNAMENT 2015 – the final whistle

 “Nothing Ever Happens in Hassocks

a series of fortunate events “

JuNE 6 – Fat Boys  football tournament

The day started with the absence of the much heralded pie oven and a slightly concerned organiser begging on the good graces of his lovely wife – who had taken the transportation device to Littlehampton for body shop succour – These, my good reader, are ultimately the real reasons for the Cobras poor showing (not a lack of team members or cohesiveness, no goal scorer and a lack of talent – no they were secondary issues) How we were going to cook the pies was wot dun for us.


The Original Whippets

The Original Whippets

The tournament, conceived in 2010 with 4 teams, this year grew to 11, with The Fat Boys (former whippets) on a three year winning streak having not lost a game since 2011, and with goalkeeper supreme Scott away on England duty, surely this was a time to test their invincibility?


Cobras - all stood up at once! Ash probably slide tackling someone...somewhere

Cobras – all stood up at once! Ash probably slide tackling someone…somewhere

You might have thought that with only 4 players available for their first match that things would start badly for  HOGS FC (one of several new teams to the tournament)but no they  still ran out 3-0 winners over a sorry shambles of spitting Cobras, we have no photograph evidnce of them being there – but I do know an overall 4th placed finish was a good start to their tournamnet involvement.

Over the course of a long afternoon many games ebbed and flowed, new teams all aquitted themselves well and entered into the friendly spirit of the occassion – just enough competitive edge to make it interesting, not so much as to be a constant handbag fest – some old scores were settled – 7SIS recording a controversial win over their 11 a side nemesis Rottingdean Greens yet no one left utterly defeated or overwhelmingly triumphant, well actually they did but it all felt very enjoyable so we’ll try the same thing again next year

This year even with 10 games each it all boiled down to a late encounter between the development day winners – Norfolk NC – and the brand spanking new team of YounG’Uns –

Perhaps it was the occasion, perhaps Georges party was on everybody’s mind? but in  the end Norfolk ran out 3-0 winners, their best result of the day, as the Guns suffered their only defeat of the tournament – perhaps they should have worn the pink more often?

So much skill...so much hair product. Norfolk NC the car park shoot

So much skill…so much hair product. Norfolk NC the car park shoot

For the rest of us? Well four of the top five places were taken up by new teams – but there really wasn’t much in it – as 11th was also from the new tranche – and all the teams were capable of putting a good result alongside a bad one, just for some of us the good was rather outweighed by the not so good. 7sis will be pleased to finish above Rotters, Cobras can’t believe they weren’t bottom, GL Rangers won best presented team in lovely matching tops, HOGS finally made it up to six players, Quaggy came through the rank of abject misery last year for a respectable finish without their Barry talisman, Quixote are now a team to be reckoned with, Fire – well they had a lovely day out

Teams Points goals for against diff
1 Norfolk N Chance 24 15 0 15
2 Youn G uns 21 11 5 6
3 Fat Boys 19 9 7 2
4 HOGS FC 18 14 6 8
5 GJ Rangers 16 8 2 6
6 7SIS 13 10 13 -3
7 Hassocks Quixote 13 8 13 -5
8 Quaggy Wanderers 8 4 12 -8
9 Rottingdean Greens 7 4 8 -4
10 Real Social Cobras 7 2 8 -6
11 Friday Fire 5 3 14 -11



Fans swarmed to the game of the day

Fast paced action in what turned out to be the Championship decider

Fast paced action in what turned out to be the Championship decider




Hassocks Quixote – The Conrad shoot – Still a few Windmills to topple yet but a good first showing in the main event

Rottingdean Greens - a change of colour might help results next year

Rottingdean Greens – a change of colour might help results next year




A group of Rangers - the GLee type

A group of Rangers –  the GLee type

Friday Fire - perhaps Saturday was a day too late this year?

Friday Fire – perhaps Saturday was a day too late this year?


Quaggy is as Quaggy does

Quaggy is as Quaggy does


Youn G uns limbering down

Youn G uns limbering down




Player of the tournament – with his “Jeff the chauffeur” sidekick

Wine Wars continues… Cutlack cuts the mustard

2015 has got off to a slow start but after an excellent prelim 2nd round (Giles’ honeyed tones once more hung over the tasting rooms of the purple carrot like a bee eating through cheese) judging the Whites of Argentina/Brazil, Hungary, South Africa and Portugal we have a clear winner to don their battle armour and join the main event.

This year we are approaching things slightly differently.  Each evening will be devoted to a particular country and wines from different regions within that country, a showcase of their wares. There will once again be titbits of food to nibble on during the evening with some “close” approximation to what you might hope to find should you visit the country in question. We’re still scoring the wines as we like an element of friendly completion and a leader-board will be produced to see who will face Australia (2014 champions) in the grand final on 11 December.

Dates are as follows and pre-booking is always advisable as places are limited – £15 in advance, £17.50 on the night.  All evenings are 7.45 with an 8pm start

Friday 3rd July = Spain
Thursday 6th August = Chile
Thursday 17th September = France
Friday 2nd October = New Zealand
Thursday 12th November = Italy
Friday 11th December = Australia v Highest Scoring Country from rounds

oh the clear winner – Portugal, who we will fit in somewhere after Italy in November

Events r Us

How does a small coffee shop on the wrong side of the tracks survive when there are just soooooooooo many other competitors with better premises, more staff and more money, – flipping heck even the Deli (no offence) has got some cracking (PURPLE!) chairs in it’s window offering a lovely vantage point to see and be seen! We instead have an internal water feature when it rains that hasn’t been fixed in 18 months. Perhaps that’s the secret
Or perhaps it’s that we offer the best coffee? Or perhaps it’s because we really do cook our own food, and cakes, and cater to and for dietary requirements and offer people what they ask for not what it says on the packet?

Or maybe it’s that we don’t just expect people to venture out of their comfort zone of Keymer Road, The Hassocks High Street, so we put on events, and try to encourage people to do something a little bit different. With that in mind let me tell you a bit about what’s Coming Up soonish

Friday 22 May The Hassocks Hash – technically not organised by the Purple Carrot but for the last 25 months every 4th Friday has seen us open our doors for people of all ages to rock up and run off, sometimes when they get back they even stay and chat, meet other runners, talk about training, their goals, occasionally even have a drink and a bite to eat.  This is a free event and is open to all – gun goes at 7.30pm prompt. –

From Sunday for the half term week we will be offering a very limited service as most of the staff will be in Cornwall getting wet for a few days in a big tent in a big field  – so if you’re thinking of popping in for a bite to eat give us a call first to make sure we’re there (01273 841296).

Monday 1 June THE Quiz – apparently too hard for The Legion regulars who are running scared of being humbled. They shouldn’t worry as half the fun of the evening is everyone roundly cursing the Quiz master, and suggesting it was better in the Greyhound, but not as funny – the jackpot currently stands at around £50 and while you’re pouring over your table round we offer such luxury as a cheeky cheeseboard supplemented with a well deserved bottle of wine – or why not indulge in our growing range of dips, flatbreads and olives and a local beer? (7.30 for 8pm start – £2pp)

Thursday 4 JuneWine Wars part 2 – It’ll be all WHITE on the night. Punning apart there will be some stunning wines to compliment the excellent food fare This is Part 2 of our new countries involvement in this years wine wars.
We’ve done the reds so now it’s the turn of the whites from South America (Brazil & Argentina), South Africa, Portugal and the return of the Austro-Hungarian empire.
Not sure which country is out in front after the reds round, Giles is keeping it all close to his chest, but I do know there were several people emerging from the basement with very happy faces – Neil and Pauline really liked the Romanian with their cheeseboard on the Saturday afterwards.
Food will again be a close approximation of what might be found in the countries concerned, there may be a couple of dishes the same as the last lot all went rather quickly – and we’ll also have a favourite bottle of wine to be given away in the prize draw. Don’t leave it too long as this one is getting booked up.
£15 – £17 on the night

Saturday 6 JuneFat Boys Invitational 7 a side Football Tournament.  Now in its sixth year the tournament goes from strength to strength.  What started out as a little get together of 4 local teams is now putting interested parties from as far away as Hurstpierpoint on a waiting list! The fun starts at 12.30pm on the Downlands School all weather pitches until 4.30pm.  Food and trophies, winners speeches, and the champions league final will all take place from 5pm onwards in Adastra Park at the Keymer & Hassoks Sports and social Club.  Why not come along and enjoy the mayhem?