THE TREASON SHOW – review of the year – 9 December 2016 in HAssocks – with added Jazz bits

Did everything really go wrong in 2016? Get a little help reviewing the last 12 glorious months from the Treason Shows no holds barred approach to telling it how it is. If you missed little Britain tugging itself away from combustible Europe, while the great and the good filed their exit papers and fled to the afterworld, including the last great leader of the free world (well Cuba) leaving his socialist legacy to be taken on by the next US president, then this is the show for you.

Buy tickets for The Treason Show
Ha Ha Hassocks presents the Treason Show review of the year @ Adastra Hall. All the best bits of a crazy year, made slightly more crazy by Mr Brailsford and his troupe of willing satirists

Doors open at 6.45pm for those of you who just don’t want to go home, and the evening kicks off with some excellent jazz and blues from Lou B and ace jazz guitarist Nils Solberg; food starts from 7.30, feast on three courses of hand crafted food, but if you’re not eating you can always enjoy a bar packed with localness,  and snooze gently through the high class horesplay from Mark and the Treason gang as they look back on a year of awe and wonderment, and most probably a lot of breathtaking stupidity from the grate(ing) and the goode

ts-poster-xmas-16-hassocks-image  Ha Ha Hassocks logo blackImage result for lou beckerman jazz singer

Upcoming @ The Carrot and beyond

Quick re-blog with ALL dates correct this time. Yes The Red Wine Final tasting is definitely on a Thursday 15th December – and it’s filling up fast

(Mainly) Evening Events

Tuesday 22nd – Knit & Natter – 7pm

Thursday 24th – Paul’s Popular Pop Quiz – 7.30 for 8pm start £8.50 (£4.50 without food)

Friday 25th – Light-up Hassocks (Keymer Road) 4-7.30pm; Hassocks Hash Social run 7.30pm prompt

Saturday 26th – St Lawrence Pop-up Pub “The Lawrie” @st. lawrence school hall – 7pm –


Thursday 1 Dec – Guides Hot Chocolate & Film night 7pm

Friday 2nd  Dec – Wine Wars: WHITES ONLY FINAL – Pinot Grigio take on the might of Sauvignon Blanc – a titanic battle will ensue- 7.45pm for 8pm start  – £17 (includes accompanying food)

Monday 5 Dec -THE MONTHLY QUIZ – 7.30pm for 8pm start £2.50pp (£7 with pie!)

Tues 6 Dec – Knit & Natter – 7pm

Friday 9 Dec – Ha HA Hassocks presents – The Treason Show @ Adastra Hall – £15 (£30 with food) – Now with added JAzz as Lou and friend welcome you to what promises to be an excellent evening

Saturday 10th Dec – Pop-up shop @ the purple carrot 3pm-9pm

Sunday 11th – Golf day @ Burgess Hill The DOGs return for their end of season spectacular finish The Wrap-up – Breakfast roll-up @thepurple carrot from 9.45am. First tee 11.30am, followed by some nosh @ the Barn – £20

Thursday 15th  Dec – Wine Wars: better RED than dead – book quick space going fast for this one. Heavyweight “Cab Sav” – definitely the wine that has swung it Australia’s way for the last two years takes on the sophistication of Spain and the tempting Tempranillo grape – 7.45pm for 8pm start  – £17 (includes accompanying food)

Fri 16th Dec – Wine and platters evening – from 7.30pm

Ha HA Hassocks presents -The Treason Show – Fri 9 December @ Adastra Hall

Buy tickets for The Treason Show
Ha Ha Hassocks presents the Treason Show review of the year @ Adastra Hall. All the best bits of a crazy year, made slightly more crazy by Mr Brailsford and his troupe of willing satirists

Good for – singles, couples, groups of friends, staff “Christmas do’s”,

Not Good for – grumpy miserable buggers, under 16’s ! people who prefer to spend £40 for a night in Brighton with average food and average entertainment with the added excitement of crap trains and expensive parking

Should I bring a first date? Depends if you want a second one….

tickets on sale through the purple carrot, Marchants Estate agents and at “Light Up Hassocks” event, really really soon

£14.75 if bought before December, £17.50 if you’re a last minute chancer!

£29.75 with food – 3 courses (pate platters with prosecco, Venison Pie or veggie alternative / Dreamy sweet treats) NB: food orders will not be taken on the night.

hopefully a band, or at least some form of musical expresionism (definitely a word); a bar packed with localness; and obviously high class horesplay from Mark and the Treason gang as they look back on a year of awe and wonderment, and most probably a lot of breathtaking stupidity from those wot fill the column inches


Buy tickets for The Treason Show

MacMillan – World’s biggest Coffee Morning

Today is MacMillan coffee morning.

Homes and businesses across the country eating cake and drinking tea and coffee and putting the donations to cancer support. Being a coffee bar we’re at a bit of an advantage to sort that out properly so Wateraid can take a back-seat today and instead we’ll donate 50p of every coffee, tea, cake we sell today to MacMillan cancer support. Can’t make it to the carrot? Haley at Reflex is on the high street is doing one too so no excuses.

A few places left for tonight’s wine wars

You Decide

The Purple Carrot, in association with South Downs Cellars, presents Wine Wars’ of Hassocks 2016
This month on Thursday 15 September our white and red options are Chardonnay and Malbec – just right for an Indian Summer.

What is your favourite grape variety? We aim to provide a (less than) definitive guide to the best single grape varieties of wine in the world.
Obviously there are gazziliions of blends out there so we are stripping it back to basics to take a look at 12 single varieties (both red and white) to test the palate
Whites: Riesling ; Sauvignon Blanc; Pinot Grigio/Gris; Chardonnay; Viognier; Chenin Blanc
Reds: Shiraz/Syrah; Pinot Noir; Cabernet Sauvignon; Malbec; Merlot; Tempranillo

Each Month 4 Whites and 4 Reds of the same Grape variety
Top 2 scoring varieties go head to head to choose No1 White and Red.

December White & Red Final Top 2 Grape Varieties

booking is always advisable, a £5pp deposit is required, as places are limited. £15 in advance, £17.50 on the night. All evenings are 7.45 with an 8pm start

It’s today

So finally the bank holiday Sunday summer special Ha Ha Hassocks longest title for an event so far this year, has arrived.

If you are wanting food there is a BBQ being run by the sports and social club, starting about 4pm – 50 yards away from Adastra Hall in Adastra Park – which comedy attendees are very welcome to gorge on.  The veggie option will be arriving at about 5.30pm.  This will continue until about 7.30pm, or until the food runs out, whichever is earlier. There will be a prinks option featuring Gin and Bubbles available at Adastra Hall from 6.30pm  when the doors officially open. The bar will also feature local bottled beers and ales from Bedlam, Hurst and Darkstar breweries, and wines from Southdowns cellars – including a limited amount of Plumpton’s excellent white. Soft drinks and crisps (maybe some chocolate) will also be available.

The comedy starts in earnest at 8pm and will continue on until roughly 10pm with a couple of intervals in between to get your breath back, refuel and prepare for the next installment, and the bar will run until 10.30pm.

Our line-up is now confirmed as Sean, Dana and Ian Stone “Seriously funny” The Guardian
“…like a cross between Tony Hancock and Frankie Howerd. Stone is probably better than we deserve. Ultimately, it is the sheer quantity of funny material that really impresses” The List.   

Image result for ian stone
ian stone – one heck of a headliner!

I hope you are all looking forward to it as much as me and the chaps, oh and the sun is due to shine from roughly 5.45 – 7.45 to enjoy the early evening ambiance of the park, and then dash inside for some serious Ha Ha

Still Closed

Sorry but the Purple Carrot will remain closed until Thursday 25 August, due to Chris’s ongoing battle with a venomous all consuming illness (cold) that has struck him to his very core. It is probably better that he does not continuously sneeze into food, or loudly AttcchoooOOO!! whilst taking coffee orders. This continued absence may cause upset to some but saving people from the distressing fate of encountering red rimmed itchy eyes and overly soar nose ends on arrival at said cafe is of paramount importance to your stricken host.

Also we want to be ready for a fun weekend with the Summer Hassocks Hash (social run with chatter, drink and nibbles afterwards) on Friday evening (7.30 prompt start). DOGS golf @ Mid Sussex Golf Club on Saturday afternoon (3pm start) and of course the Bank Holiday summer special Ha HA HAssocks Stand-Up on Sunday @ Adastra Hall (a few tickets left) with good quality tasty BBQ option (chilli-burgers awesome, veggie options too) available at the Keymer & Hassocks Social club in Adastra Park and Gin & Fizz prinks from 6.00pm, the stage opens at 8pm

Sadly the Purple Carrot will be closing…

…Until 22 August. Sorry but I’m knackered.

Apparently it is good for the soul (and family) to have a holiday so due to the extremely kind friends we have we will be despoiling a small part of southern France and north east Spain in pursuit of fine wine and future menu items.

On our return look out for

  • Fri 26 Aug – Hassocks Hash Run (open to all fast or slow, fit or otherwise)- 7.30pm
  • Sat 27 Aug – DOGs golf  – 3pm
  • Sun 28 Aug – Bank Holiday Summer Special Comedy @ Adastra Hall – doors 6.30pm first act 8pm
  • Mon 5 Sept – The Trivia Quiz – 7.30 for 8pm – the jackpot pot is starting to get a bit more tasty again
  • Tues 6 Sept – needles ready it’s Knit n Natter – 7pm
  • Thurs 15 Sept – Wine Wars (Chardonnay & Malbec try to plant themselves on the leaderboard of great grapeness) – 8pm

Hasta manana amigos

Ha Ha Hassocks Comedy Summer Special – Sunday 28 August

This year’s biggest comedy event (in Hassocks at least) is rapidly approaching.  And what a way to round off the holidays it is too. With less than 4 weeks to go we still can’t 100% confirm our headliner – but we can say if he doesn’t make it Stephen will be pulling ALL the stops out, calling in BIG favours to write the HUGEST cheque to get someone almost as awesome. There are still some tickets left at £17.50, or two tickets with a fine bottle of wine from Southdowns Cellars for £41 available from the Purple Carrot, Marchants Estate agents and online

Buy tickets for Ha Ha Hassocks presents - The Summer Special - year 2 - bigger and badder

– HA HA Hassocks Holiday Special @ Adastra Hall – Sunday 28 August doors from 6.30pm

  • Fully Licenced Bar until 10pm

Back to where it all started just one year ago we aim to offer even more mirth and full on chortling for the good denizens of Hassocks and surrounding suburbs (Burgess Hill, Haywards Heath….Brighton) with three top draw comedians.

Make a proper evening of it? Keymer & Hassocks Sports & Social Club (The Club for ease of ref) will be providing BBQ’d fare from 5pm at a very reasonable price, and we will be starting on the Pimms and Gin from 6ish – obviously it will be a beautiful summers evening so a chance to sit out and enjoy what Adastra Park has to offer – the thwack of leather on willow perhaps ? – before the main event as our first act hits the stage at 8pm

OUR MC Stephen Grant will warmly welcome…. a warmly, nay hotly, anticipated line-up.

2 cracking Canadians Sean Collins & Dana Alexander and a top-notch special guest – due back from filming in Asia just a couple of days before…. (ummm I wonder who that might be….

Stephen Grant – Winner of two Chortle Awards. Starred in ‘Stand up’ for Comedy Central. International headliner – Aus, NZ, India etc. Regular compare at Brighton Komedia. 7 Edinburgh shows. Sold out show at Theatre Royal in Brighton. DJ for Radio Sussex & Regular radio guest on Heart FM will be your compere for the evening.

Sean Collins –  Canadian Sean has 25 years experience in stand up comedy, with initial success leading to ‘Best Male Stand Up’ nominations at the Canadian Comedy Awards, a Just For Laughs Gala set at Montreal and his own hour long special on Canadian television. Since moving to the UK, Sean has quickly established himself as a respected comedian. His appearance on Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow on BBC 1 proved a bombastic gig for Sean, affording him the opportunity to perform at The Real Variety Showcase.

Dana Alexander – is currently one of Britain and Canada’s hottest emerging young comedians – It was not long before she began working in television on BBC programs like Russell Howard’s Good News. Edinburgh Comedy Fest in 2012 and featured on The Culture Show in 2013 for BBC 2. Refreshing and fearless her comedic style has been described as ‘smart, irreverent and revolutionary’.

And the other guy??? many (too many) tv appearances, his own show, currently making a second series in Sri Lanka and India…he needs no introduction, he just needs to get on that plane.

Material may not be suitable for younger audiences (U18’s with parental approval only).

ROAR – right of admission refusal.

Acts can be subject to change.

Tickets ordered online are subject to a transaction administration fee.

Where can I contact the organiser with any questions? email:, or come into the purple carrot, 4 Stanford Terrace, Hassocks

trivia quiz, Ha Ha Comedy Night, Fat Boys Football, Hassocks Pairs Golf, Wine Tasting….

back in the saddle, on a bolting horse

Monday 6th – Tonight it’s Trivia time with the purple carrot quiz – 7.30pm for an 8pm start – we also have PIES :0) and a Jackpot of over £170 which needs to be won! – £2.50pp (£7 with Pie n mash)

Tuesday 7th  – Knit n Natter hit back with some cunning stitches and neat overlaps to keep you entertained and up to date with all the latest crochet and knitting moves 7-8.30pm – FREE

Friday 10th – Ha HA HAssocks Season Finale – yet another interstellar line-up and with one Mr Stephen Grant back in the bosses chair prepare to enjoy a rip-roaring last comedy event of the season.  A few tickets left but don’t expect to get one on the night. Doors 7pm for 8pm start @ the Hassocks Hotel – buy tickets online, or come get one at the purple carrot or Hassocks pub

Saturday 11th – Fat Boys Football tournament (yr7) – As homage to the slightly younger, fitter and possibly more talented men who will be strutting their stuff on the European Stage – we host the annual huffing and puffing tournament at Downlands school 3G pitches – 12.30 – 3.30pm. Followed by food at the Hassocks Sports and Social club in Adastra Park , and a chance to see Wales and england win their first matches of Euro 2016. If you have a team or want to don your boots one last time let us know by Wednesday night £10pp

Sunday 12th – Hassocks Pairs Golf Tournament – @ Hassocks golf club. Not one, but TWO winners! £28 – in advance (£55 a pair). Get to play Hassocks before it becomes your new house! prizes, kudos , lunch and a course that should be in excellent condition . Our annual event that puts friends and colleagues together to confound the critics as to what a marvellous standard they really can achieve, or at least enjoy the food on offer and the banter to go with it. First tee 12.30pm. If you are interested you have until Wednesday evening to enter – email

Thursday 16th – Wine Wars returns. What is Hassocks favourite Grape? Once again it is up to you to decide. This month we try out – Sauvignon Blanc & Pinot Noir – perfect summer combinations – £16 with nibbles –